Introducing...

Don't you hate those pesky pleasantries that inevitably come with ones own introduction? I don't like introducing myself and I like even less that awkward stint of time while I get comfortable with the person i'm with. I've never heard or seen an introduction made without some sort of cliché or calculated line being instigated.

"Hi, my name is Shawn and i'm studying Film in London."

So dull and formulated. Sometimes I wish I could open a conversation with someone as though we already knew one another and then I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not this person is impressed with me. I could be relaxed and I could be myself, though being myself is a risky strategy if I want the other person to like me. Myself or not, I find introductions almost unnecessary. You should be able to know everything there is to know about the person you are speaking with after a few short moments. The topics of conversation raised are usually enough to make any decisions about whether or not you're ever going to see or speak to this person again. Is there any crime worse than being unimaginably uninteresting?

- "Don't you find the works of Oscar Wilde to be utterly beautiful?" 

- "Who's Oscar Wilde?"

... This is a sure sign i'll never see you again, my dear. However, I usually decide whether I like or hate someone without having actually spoken to them. Is this a bad thing? Probably not. I loathe meeting new people. In fact, what are you doing here? Go away. I bet I don't like you.

Social media rules out physical interaction and I can't figure out whether or not I love it or hate it. I really do detest it, but then again, it beats speaking to people face to face, right? Though there are some downfalls (like no tone detection, that's a big one) I can be myself through a computer screen. I feel invincible and untouchable. I say what I really mean online whereas in the real-world i'm a bumbling idiot who is often-times overly agreeable and awkward. Via the internet you have a good couple of seconds to formulate a clever response and I find that given those couple of seconds i'm a genius. You can also be braver and say something you might not if you were speaking face to face and you're free to disagree (as politely nodding along doesn't translate well through facebook chat). It's unfortunate then, that in the real-world i'm a coward and a 15 second pause in between sentences would be totally unacceptable. It's an awful shame.

So instead of introducing myself in this small space I would like to pose the following: Imagine that each of the following posts that I write are opening conversations in our hypothetical first meeting, although if you're anything like me, you've already decided whether or not you like me.